Empathy: A Blessing and a Curse? (Hint: it’s a gift!)

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By Lindsay Bissett

Empathy – the superpower that lets us walk in someone else’s shoes, feel their joy, and cry their tears. It’s like having a built-in emotional compass that helps us connect with others, often beyond surface level. Here’s the twist - while empathy can be a gift, it can also come with its own set of unique challenges. Today’s blog explores the delicate balance of successful empathy, and shares tips on how to keep that compassionate heart beating confidently, and not burning out.

The Sunny Side of Empathy

First, let’s talk about why that emotional empathy compass is so critical. According to Forbes research, Empathy Is The Most Important Leadership Skill. Why?

“Empathy contributes to positive outcomes. As we go through tough times, struggle with burnout or find it challenging to find happiness at work, empathy can be a powerful antidote and contribute to positive experiences for individuals and teams. A new study of 889 employees by Catalyst found empathy has some significant constructive effects..”

The positive effects include increased innovation, engagement, retention (particularly with women and more specifically women of color), inclusivity, and work life balance.

When you genuinely empathize with someone, you’re not just acknowledging their feelings; you’re stepping into their world for a moment. This can deepen relationships, foster understanding, and create a more supportive community. It’s the secret ingredient behind effective teamwork, strong friendships, and the reason I always cry when watching sad movies.

Ever noticed how sharing a good laugh or a heartfelt conversation can instantly brighten someone’s day? Some people call this contagious energy, and really it is empathy in action!

The Flip Side: Compassion Fatigue

But wait – here’s the plot twist. Being deeply empathetic can sometimes lead to what has been titled “compassion fatigue.” This is when the emotional weight of caring for others starts to take a toll on our own well-being. Imagine carrying a backpack filled with rocks – it starts to get heavy, right? That’s what it feels like when empathy isn’t managed properly.

Signs of compassion fatigue can include:

• Feeling overwhelmed or drained after helping others

• Experiencing emotional numbness

• Difficulty sleeping or concentrating

• Increased irritability

5 Tips for Keeping Your Empathy in Balance

Good news! There are ways to keep your empathy flowing without letting it become overwhelming. Here are some tips to manage the emotional load and avoid compassion fatigue:

1. Set Healthy Boundaries
   It’s wonderful to be there for others, but it’s equally important to set limits. Be there for yourself. Think of your empathy as a bank account– if you keep withdrawing without making deposits, you’ll end up in the red. A banking example spoken like a true banker! Simply put, allow yourself time to recharge and enjoy activities that make you happy. There is a fantastic book I read to my kids often that touches on this concept: Have You Filled A Bucket Today?: A Guide To Daily Happiness For Kids book by Carol Mccloud

2. Practice Self-Care
   Don’t forget to pamper yourself! Whether it’s a relaxing bath, a good book, or a walk in nature, find what recharges your batteries. Self-care isn’t selfish and doesn’t have to be cliche; it’s essential for maintaining your emotional health. Need selfcare ideas? Checkout this blog by friend of Leda HR Saffina Jinnah. Five Self-Care Tips from a South Asian Woman.

3. Seek Support
   Sharing your feelings with friends, family, or a professional can help lighten your emotional load. It’s like having a buddy system for your wellbeing. Sometimes just talking things out can make a big difference. We can’t only be there for others, sometimes we have to allow others to be there for us. Letting others in can be challenging, it’s an exercise to open and unload the “rocks” from our backpack, but it is so necessary.

4. Stay Mindful
   Mindfulness practices, like meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help you stay grounded. It’s like giving your mind a mini-vacation, which can help you maintain your empathy without becoming overwhelmed. Meditation not for you? That’s ok, it’s a major struggle for me too. What gets us to that mindful space is what we are trying to uncover. I have been enjoying forest bathing, often in a small forested area walking distance from my home.

5. Balance Your Perspectives
   While it’s great to be empathetic, try to balance it with a bit of detachment. Stay with me, this doesn’t mean you stop caring, just that you allow yourself to maintain balance. It’s like being a lifeguard; you want to help others without getting pulled into the deep end yourself. For those close to me, I use that “lifeguard” analogy often, despite hating the water. I find it paints a very clear picture of boundaries in my mind, I can ask myself “am I getting too deep?”, and know when to paddle back a bit while leaving the life preserver of empathy out there for others to grab if needed. We want to throw out that life raft, we want to cheer our friends on from the shoreline, but we can’t get in too deep where now we are both struggling to tread water.

Yes, empathy can be both a blessing and a curse. It has the power to enrich our lives and the lives of others and it’s a critical leadership skill, but it also requires careful management to avoid burnout. By setting boundaries, practicing self-care, seeking support, and staying mindful, you can keep your empathy from becoming a burden, and rather allow it to help you form thriving relationships. Remember, it’s okay to take a step back and recharge; your compassionate heart will thank you for it!

So, here’s to embracing empathy with all its highs and lows. With a little balance and self-care, you can continue to spread kindness like confetti without losing sight of your own well-being.

P.S. Want to learn more about why empathy is a leadership superpower? Reach out to Leda HR for more info about our Inclusive Leadership workshops for people leaders and senior leadership teams!

About Lindsay Bissett:

Lindsay is a human resources consultant who blends expertise with a passion for social media and mental health advocacy. She has extensive experience in equitable HR practices and fostering positive employee relations. A wife and mother of two, Lindsay delights in kitchen dance parties and glamping under the stars