Nepo Babies: Pop Culture Silliness or a Chance to Talk About Privilege?
By Kristin Bower
Have you heard the term nepo baby yet? If you follow social media or anything pop culture related, I am sure you have. If you haven’t…
A nepo (nepotism) baby is someone who has gained access to opportunities in their career (acting, music, modelling) because of a famous family member. According to New York Magazine, 2022 was the Year of the Nepo Baby. Via their pop culture magazine, Vulture, they published the All But Definitive Guide to the Hollywood Nepo-Verse.
And oh, baby – nepo babies did NOT like it.
Just like most of us, when we are faced with our own privilege, we get uncomfortable and, sometimes, defensive.
But is this just a silly distraction, another example of the pop culture flavour of the month or fad that is here today and gone tomorrow? The term nepo baby might be fleeting – time will tell - but the larger conversation shouldn’t be.
What pop culture can tell us about society
I am fascinated by pop culture. It can be fun, but it can also be a barometer for what is going on in our communities and the world. Perhaps a bit like the canary in the coal mine at times.
Charlie Morin wrote this in 2018 for the University of Winnipeg and downtown community newspaper the Uniter, “Pop culture informs how people make sense of the world. It reveals what society believes about itself, but it can also be used as an instrument for effecting social change.”
The conversation about nepo babies in Hollywood, and the fashion and music industries, reflects where I think we are when it comes to the topic of privilege in the workplace: we continue to miss the point.
Defining privilege
So, what is the point?
Let me start by saying what privilege is NOT: it’s not to say that you haven’t experienced challenges. Once more for those at the back of the room: privilege does NOT mean that you haven’t faced adversity, experienced really hard times, or worked your butt off to achieve good things.
It does mean that the challenges you have experienced were NOT because of the colour of your skin, your sexuality, or your gender. Or, in the case of nepo babies, who you know in the workplace or your industry that might be able to help you gain access to opportunities that you might not have had without that support.
And therein lies the privilege.
The Canadian model Coco Rocha weighed in on the nepo baby debate and she used the analogy of a ladder:
"Let's be real, privilege is a ladder. It's a ladder that's a thousand steps high. Some are born higher on the ladder than others," she said. "That is a fact.”
The Wheel of Power and Privilege
Another way to think of privilege is as concentric circles or a wheel. Sylvia Duckworth, a Canadian educator, created a visual that helps to understand many of the diversity dimensions that can impact the amount of privilege that each of us may or may not have. The closer you are to the centre of the wheel at any given time or in relation to others, the more privilege you hold.
When you look at this think about where you might hold privilege and where you might not. Privilege is often the elements of who we are that we think of least. Where do you see yourself here?
Intersectionality
Kimberle Crenshaw, a leading scholar in critical race theory and professor of race and gender issues, coined the term intersectionality back in 1989. She used this term to describe how race, class, and gender (as well as other diversity dimensions and characteristics) intersect and overlap.
Crenshaw noted how Black women experience more marginalization than Black men, for example. She put a name to a really important concept: when we begin to layer on barriers, life gets harder. The more barriers, the farther down that proverbial ladder you find yourself.
In the words of Taylor Swift, “You need to calm down.”
OK, I am going to talk to my fellow white people for a second…
Feel guilty or angry or shameful because of where you might be on the wheel of power and privilege? Do you feel annoyed with this idea of privilege and that you might have some (or maybe a lot) of power because of it? Here’s the tricky part: resisting the instinct to be defensive or to feel guilt or shame.
So, take a deep breath. Calm down. Nobody gets to choose the skin they are born into or the circumstances of that birth and all aspects of that life. So…
Let. It. Go. (OK, these are actually Elsa’s words – cue the pop culture phenomenon that is Frozen…)
Now use your privilege to help others. Here’s how…
4 Ways to Use Your Privilege
Identify your own privilege. What are the parts of your own identity that you never think about. For example, if you can walk down the street holding your opposite sex partner’s hand without fear for your safety, you have heterosexual privilege. If you can walk up stairs to get into a building, you have privilege.
Be curious. Choose to be curious about another person’s experiences in life, the challenges that they face. Listen to them. Believe them. Just because you haven’t faced the barriers that a person of colour or a person with a disability has faced doesn’t mean that those barriers don’t exist.
Amplify voices. This one is really about allyship. Watch and listen for the opportunities to raise issues, challenge the status quo, and shine the light on others. Does the voice of the only woman in the meeting always get drowned out? Create space for her to speak, redirect the conversation to include her ideas. Have you noticed that the same type of person is always hired? Ask why. Are the Indigenous people in your organization underrepresented in leadership? Spread the work about their talent and skills.
Be quiet. This just might be the hardest. Sometimes in our excitement to be an ally to others, we get a bit too enthusiastic and loud. Don’t shift the focus from the person or group that you are working to support to you. Listen to the people who are the experts in their own lived experience and follow their lead.
Privilege and nepotism have been around since the beginning of time. And they aren’t going away anytime soon. The good news is that with more awareness of our individual privilege and the barriers that others face to full inclusion in workplaces and communities, we can begin to remove those barriers. When we do that, we all win.
Kristin Bower is a partner in Leda HR and a diversity, equity, and inclusion consultant living and working in Metro Vancouver on the traditional and unceded lands of the Katzie (q̓ic̓əy̓) People. Endlessly curious, she is dedicated to making the world a better place, one small act or conversation at a time!